Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
