I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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