She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
