He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
