I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
