i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
