so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize