I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
