u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
