I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
