I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
