When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sober January is a disaster.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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