So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize