peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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