I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
