he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
