shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Randomize
