I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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