Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
