I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
