What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
