after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
