Having a random hookup so left but love u
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
