Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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