you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
