Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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