Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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