I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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