Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize