i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
