She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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