i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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