umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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