Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
