Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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