Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
