i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
