i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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