You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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