I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
