forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
