i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
