hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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