Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He called his prostate his "boner button".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
