I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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