Sacagawea was the original milf.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
