i just made my gag reflex go away.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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