try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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