12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Randomize
