I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
