i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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