While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
