they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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