There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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