Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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