Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
