Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
