Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
