Michael Bay diarrhea
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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