Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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